Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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