they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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