I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
