I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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