I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
