that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
A bitchslap is in order.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
