he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
