we made out on top of his cat.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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