we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
