Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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