He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Come share oat with me in your robe
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
