who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
