No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
