so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
