Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
