I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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