I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I am one with the molecules
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
