The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
