I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
