How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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