guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
