you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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