How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
