I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
