apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize