I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
we're so committed to being not committed
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
