Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
