I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
