he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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