she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
These tits shall not be calmed
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