What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
