Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize