The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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