he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
