next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
