this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
