i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
