Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
