thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
