Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Come on in and take your pants off
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