I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
handjob tips. give me some.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
