Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize