sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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