Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
smell my finger.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
