Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
