There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
