just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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