i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
