Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
