Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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