maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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