So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
