fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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