wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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