Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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