Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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