So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
