Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
