White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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