I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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