i would punch a child for taco bell
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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