it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
