I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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